I didn't even drink.
By choice.

I had to drive this really wasted girl home.

An actual text to Tarrasque from last night: "Help me. Phm suoo pvqnk. Vodka nad beer and vjult do NO ALL PPROPIAMMED D"

That seems to be a trend.

Damn right. I'm a fucking trendy sumbitch.

Edit: And right now, I am currently enjoying a pint of Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream ice cream.

I am enjoying some hair of the dog. Kokanee baby, best beer.

That and Jack Daniels, mmmm.

There you are!

Yes and past the trials of puberty at that!

I still can't grow a beard though, damn my hairless chin! I wish there was an archive of the old sites though, just to read how stupid I was.

For the record I'm still an idiot, just better spoken.

http://web.archive.org/web/*/http://www.flecko.net

October 28, 2005
Oi.

Grass grows, birds fly, sun shines, and brother, I hurt people. If you were from where I was from, you'd be fucking dead.

I had to fucking work last night. 11-7! Woooo!

Only had to fight one drunk guy! So fairly uneventful!

hey speaking of,

if any of you cocksuckers send me messages after 11:00PM or before noon,

i will murder you.

exceptions made for severe injuries or helplessly intoxicated mooks

i have no idea what "PPROPIAMMED D" was supposed to be, and i'm sure you don't either

I dont get how you guys don't know how to text drunk. That shit is simple.

My phone was recently on fire and I'm missing keys and the plastic that keeps my keypad in place. Shit can get difficult.

Happy New Year. Nice to see old names and a new layout.

what the fuck have you been doing with your phone.

?

Not quite. I had left it next to an open flame, and it heated up enough to enable combustion. And then I dropped it, breaking the aforementioned plastic keypad holder. I'm upgrading soon, though. Hopefully.

You have the most hardcore phone ever.
Most phones only have a possibility of giving you cancer. Yours probably has a button that when pressed emits cancer!

I celebrated by getting shitfaced. I'm also pretty sure a fat girl gave me head.

I dressed up as a fat bitch and flew down to Florida to hop parties. I'm pretty sure I gave some dude head.

Not only that. When I take a picture, it looks as if it's stealing your soul. I just want something to make calls and text. I don't need apps, or a touch screen, or any of that shit. Like, I'd be happy with a Razr or something.

RHAH RHOW

because then it won't be evident that you're drunk and you won't get brownie points

I had the best new years party EVER.

I tend to have a harder time texting stoned, just because sometimes I forget what I'm texting a few words in.

dude im wait what

Agreed. I went back and read a few messages I sent my friends the first time I ever smoked, and I typed about a thousand letters too many.

On the other hand, guitar becomes a lot easier and more fun stoned. Which doesn't make any sense to me at all.

That was Corbette.

The wheel chair should have been a give away.

speaking of Hotrod, he's in the hospital at the moment for a staph infection.

Fingers crossed that he gets his arm amputated in favor of a gun-arm.

I know this, because for some reason I follow him on Twitter. He complains about not getting visitors.

Also, when did we start calling him Hotrod? It was an awesome decision.

I saw it on Tarrasque's Facebook. Best of luck to him.

Hotrod Herman

the boy's pretty accident-prone; one night at UPS during his graveyard shift as a beast of burden, he dropped a box on his foot. i think the box was filled with ammo or lead ingots or something else extraordinarily heavy and dense.

it turned his big toe into a pancake and they had to put it back together with yarn and caramel sauce, from the looks of it

This happened a week before I got a job at UPS on the same shift. He was pulling a package off the top of the wall (which is 8 feet tall when properly built) when the 80lb steel rod inside broke through the cardboard and crashed down on his big toe. He showed me it a week or so later; it was pretty damn gross. He's been wearing steel-toes ever since.

Anyhow, I'm sure he can't believe his luck. It's expected to snow here on Saturday, and the poor bastard's gonna be stuck in a hospital bed. In case you don't understand the significance, it hasn't snowed in Jacksonville since 1989.

the day i was born muhahahaha

actually probably not but still. the year i was booooorn oooooooooo

I share a birthday with E.B. White, author of "Charlotte's Web", and John Quincy Adams, Giorgio Armani, and Sela Ward.

So ha.

hey man, Stephen Hawking and Elvis Presley here, i'm totally a prime contender in that contest

my biggest weakness is R. Kelly though, that's totally my achilles closet

Touche, my good man.

I share a birthday with the kid from Terminator 2.
Also, the guy from Avatar.

Also Kevin Smith.
Holy shit.

at night my computer speakers pick up a radio signal, so that whenever my room falls silent and my ears begin to tune in quieter sounds i can hear inscrutable british muttering coming from nowhere in particular. i am sorry that this was not on any topic.

Maybe you're just crazy.

is it possible to record it? i believe that british people can babble from beyond the pale

As I have I-44 practically running though my back yard, I also have something like this happen where I can sometimes hear truckers' radio chatter and stuff through my stereo speakers. It's quiet most of the time, but I remember no less than twice when it's actually gotten pretty loud.

Still though. British people? that would be enough to scare the shit out of me.

That happens to my speakers sometimes.
It's always truckers mumbling.

I've heard of amps and stuff picking up radio waves, but British people? Sounds like you'd need a short wave radio or some shit.

I used to pick up what sounded like a French radio broadcast through my guitar amp. Fucking weird. Got louder when the pedal was turned on, too.

Europe is invading America, it's official.

Fuck your shit Headlamp.

Cross thread responses aren't cool, man.